1. The Queen’s English: A tourist from the United States was visiting London and struck up a conversation with a local. The American asked, “Say, do you know what the Queen’s English is?” The local replied, “Why, it’s English, but with the Queen’s accent, of course!” The American looked puzzled and said, “But I thought the Queen spoke English!”
  2. The Scottish Farmer: A Scottish farmer was asked by a journalist how he managed to keep his cows healthy. The farmer replied, “Well, I just talk to them.” The journalist was skeptical and asked, “What do you say?” The farmer replied, “I just tell them to stay away from the edge of the cliff.”
  3. The Welshman’s Dream: A Welshman had a dream that he was eating a giant marshmallow. When he woke up, he found that his pillow was gone.